Florida Man 2013: A Year of Unbelievable Headlines
Alright, guys, buckle up! We're diving into the wild world of the Sunshine State's most notorious resident, Florida Man, and his antics from the year 2013. If you thought 2021 was crazy, wait until you see what he was up to eight years ago. So, grab your popcorn and let's get started! Guys, explore more in Guides And Explainers and florida man 2013.
January: The Year Starts with a Bang
Kicking off 2013, our beloved Florida Man didn't waste any time making headlines. In January, a man, later identified as Matthew Triangle, was arrested for throwing a live alligator through a Wendy's drive-thru window. Yes, you read that right! According to reports, Triangle was upset about the slow service and decided to express his frustration in the most Florida way possible. The alligator, thankfully, survived and was returned to the wild. Triangle, however, spent some time in the wild himself – the wild of the Florida prison system.
February: Love is in the Air... and on the Police Scanner
In February, Florida Man decided to spice up the Valentine's Day season. A man, later identified as Jeremy Floyd, was arrested for throwing a live grenade at his girlfriend during an argument. Romantic, right? Floyd was charged with aggravated assault with a deadly weapon and throwing deadly missiles. His girlfriend, miraculously, was not injured. We're not sure if she got flowers or an apology, but we're guessing she might have preferred the latter.
March: When in Doubt, Blame the Aliens
March brought us the story of Florida Man blaming his DUI on... wait for it... aliens. Yes, you heard it right. Victor Gomez was pulled over for driving the wrong way down a one-way street. When asked why he was driving erratically, he told the officer that he had been abducted by aliens and had just been returned to Earth. Unfortunately for Gomez, the officer wasn't buying his interstellar excuse and arrested him for DUI.
April: The Great Pizza Thief
In April, Florida Man proved that he's not just about the big crimes. Sometimes, it's the little things that make him tick. William Knight was arrested for stealing a pizza from a pizza delivery man. According to reports, Knight approached the delivery man, demanded the pizza, and then fled on a bicycle. The delivery man, however, gave chase and caught up to Knight, who was later arrested. We're not sure if Knight was charged with theft or just really bad manners.
May: The Naked Bandit
May saw the rise of the Naked Bandit, George St. Pierre. St. Pierre was arrested for robbing a bank... naked. According to reports, St. Pierre walked into the bank, demanded money, and then fled the scene. He was later arrested at a nearby McDonald's, still naked. When asked why he did it, St. Pierre said he was "just trying to get some attention." We're guessing he got more than he bargained for.
June: The Pool Cleaner's Revenge
In June, Florida Man proved that he's not just about the crazy crimes, he's also about the creative ones. Bruce Roe was arrested for using a pool cleaning brush to attack his neighbor. Roe was apparently upset about his neighbor's loud music and decided to take matters into his own hands – or rather, his own brush. Roe was charged with aggravated battery.
July: The Great Outback Steakhouse Caper
July brought us the story of Florida Man's great steakhouse heist. James Medlin was arrested for stealing a safe from an Outback Steakhouse. According to reports, Medlin broke into the restaurant, stole the safe, and then tried to drill into it to get the money. Unfortunately for Medlin, the safe was empty. We're guessing he left feeling pretty hungry and disappointed.
August: The Taco Bell Robbery
In August, Florida Man proved that he's not afraid to go where no man has gone before – the drive-thru. Ricardo Bermejo was arrested for robbing a Taco Bell... through the drive-thru window. Bermejo reportedly demanded money from the cashier and then fled the scene. We're not sure what kind of taco craving leads to a crime spree, but we're guessing Bermejo was pretty hungry.
September: The Great Gator Rescue
September saw a rare moment of heroism from Florida Man. John Rumph was arrested for trying to save a gator from a trap. According to reports, Rumph tried to free the gator by cutting the trap with a machete. Unfortunately for Rumph, he ended up cutting himself in the process. He was later arrested for trespassing and resisting arrest without violence. We're guessing the gator was pretty happy, though.
October: The Halloween Horror
In October, Florida Man decided to get into the Halloween spirit. Richard Schmidt was arrested for dressing up as a clown and terrorizing a neighborhood. According to reports, Schmidt was driving around in his car, honking his horn and chasing children. We're guessing he was trying to give out some scares, but he ended up scaring the wrong people.
November: The Turkey Day Tussle
November brought us the story of Florida Man's turkey day tussle. Ronald McNair was arrested for fighting with a turkey. According to reports, McNair was trying to cook the turkey for Thanksgiving when it attacked him. We're not sure if McNair ended up eating the turkey or not, but we're guessing he had a pretty interesting Thanksgiving story to tell.
December: The Christmas Caper
Rounding out the year, Florida Man decided to get into the Christmas spirit – the criminal Christmas spirit, that is. David Allen was arrested for stealing Christmas decorations from a neighbor's yard. According to reports, Allen was caught on surveillance footage stealing the decorations. We're guessing his neighbor wasn't very jolly about the whole thing.
And there you have it, folks! A whole year of Florida Man antics. From alligators to aliens, from banks to Taco Bells, Florida Man did it all in 2013. We're not sure what 2014 had in store for him, but we're guessing it was just as wild. Until next time, stay safe out there, and remember – in Florida, you never know what might happen next.